View Full Version : Funny jokes!

12-31-2010, 08:02 PM
Funny jokes!

12-31-2010, 08:15 PM
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

12-31-2010, 08:20 PM
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

12-31-2010, 08:33 PM
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, `Yes. No. Yes. No.`

12-31-2010, 08:39 PM
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

01-10-2011, 01:22 AM
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim,but a man rushed in and pushed her aside.

"Step aside,lady- he barked. " I've taken a course *in first aid".

The woman watched for a few minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder.

"Pardon me"- she said " But when you get to the part about calling a doctor , I'm right here".

01-12-2011, 09:42 PM
Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed.

Guest: I'll make my own bed

Innkeeper: Good, I'll get you some nails and wood.